Ayin, Swil, Alcohol

[Swil Kit Fisto]

[Swil came from --- thread.

Ayin came from "A First Encounter."
www.knightsandlords.proboards56.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=temple&thread=55&page=1]

Swil still didn’t have a clear idea of where exactly he was within the temple. As he was trying to leave, he thought to himself, “Where has this Sith Lord gone to? Wherever he is he must be stopped, no Jedi is going to be strong enough to take him down. I guess it’s all up to me then.”

Swil finally made it out to the landing platform, to find his apprentice laying on the ground, unconscious and still with vomit stains on her robes. Her lightsaber was still on her belt, but it was obvious that she had been knocked out. Swil could still see Hannibal in the cockpit getting some shut-eye, so the person responsible was obviously quick and stealthy. There was no sign of the assailant anywhere, and there was still a possibility he was on board.

Swil kept his hand on his silver saber as he made his way slowly to the ship. As he neared the ship he heard a loud belch.

“Ehh, 7.3 I’ve had better.” The intruder remarked about his belch.

Swil could not help but laugh, “Well if it were my decision, I would have given it a 6.5, but that doesn’t matter, get off my ship.”

“Ok fine, if you insist.” The voice replied.

The man walked out, arms full of beverages, so much that it hid his face. Swil was dumbfounded.

“What are you doing with my alcohol? I need that, how the heck am I supposed to meditate without it?”

“Try a Zen garden,” the man said putting the drinks down, “you know the things with the sand and crap.”

“You, you’re that idiot, Ayson T-sane something or other, that greeted me on the platform.”

“It’s Ayin Tsade yes, and now I’m the one taking your alcohol, I really don’t take kindly to pompous, arrogant, conceited, egotistical… people. Hold on something’s wrong,” Ayin said turning to the large assortment of drinks, “Ahh yes a beer will be nice. There, that’s better.”

“Ok that’s it, killing my apprentice and calling me egotistical is one thing, but taking my prized possessions is another. I will fight to the death for that.”

“I didn’t kill your apprentice, I just knocked her out.”

“Well you could have I wouldn’t have cared.”
Swil reached into his cloak and took out his red short lightsaber, looked at the beer and said, “Yea I can’t resist.” He put his saber back used the force to grab a beer for himself, walked over and drank it with Ayin, “there now we can fight.”

*After I posted this I saw an ad, I thought it was pretty funny*

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[Swil Kit Fisto]

After enjoying their beverages, Swil turned to Ayin and said, “That’s the only one you get, now because you tried to take my possessions without permission I will have to humble you.”

“Eh, whatever,” Ayin responded with one hand still in his pocket, “I’m not sure who you think you are but, It’s not like I care.” He ended with a yawn.

“You do realize that I am about to kill you right?”

“I’m sorry what was that?”

“Ugg, you infuriating fool! Now you can either put that back onto my ship, or you can leave as fish bait. It’s your choice.”

“You talk too much you know that? Well I guess you are pretty old… when you get to be that old you start getting all preachy and talkative about, ‘When I was a young lad’ and whatever nonsense you old people talk about.”

“You watch your tongue or I’ll rip it out. I’m your elder,” Swil said extending his saber to his neck, “respect me!”

Ayin, however, did not flinch, “You talk big for an old man.”

Swil cut him off, “You talk big for a scrawny little punk, and you’ve irritated me long enough.” Swil charged Ayin with his red shortsaber in hand, while Ayin remained motionless, with a blank look on his face, and a hand still in his pocket.

[Ayin Tsade]

As Swil's inferno blade scythed through the air, burning a trail of crimson in its path, Ayin watched Swil sprint towards him while standing perfectly motionless. The grin on his attacker's amphibious face told Ayin that Swil thought the match over, that Ayin had given up. When Swil's lightsaber lashed at him, Ayin could not help but respond with a lop-sided grin.

When he could feel Swil's hatred tangibly, from the fury in his massive graying eyes to the cracking hiss of his lightsaber, Ayin stepped back, outside of Swil's range. After Swil had completed his stroke, Ayin rushed forward and reached for the lightsaber. Using his index and middle fingers, Ayin pushed down on the lightsaber hilt, pointing the weapon away from himself. There he stood, face to face with Swil, with little over a foot separating the Jedi with his opponent's confused expression.

To Swil, the Jedi had simply vanished. Even with his large, keen-sighted eyes, he could not trace Tsade's movements. One moment, the Jedi stood there, a vacant look on his stupid face... the next -- nothing but dust rings expanding from where Tsade should have been. To think that this scrawny moron could move with such agility, and deflect his lightsaber away with a flick of his fingers...

But what infuriated Swil most of all was that Ayin still had one hand in his jacket pocket.

"F---ing Jedi!" Swil growled, and pressed in with his lightsaber at full power. Ayin immediately rocketed off of the ground into a sideflip, over Swil's strike. While the blade cut through the air beneath him, Ayin reached out with his free hand and grabbed onto the handle. All at once, he spun around the cylindrical handle and touched down again; as he landed, Ayin jerked on the lightsaber handle, turning the blade inwards towards Swil. Swil ended his swing just soon enough -- his hand bent backwards under Ayin's grip, with the tip of his own blade now crackling an inch away from his gut.

"You should stop playing with that thing," Ayin reprimanded. "You could put your liver out. Then you'd never be able to drink alcohol again without dying of alcohol poisoning, and your reason for existing would be gone."

"Without alcohol, I'm dead anyway! Why do you think I'm trying to kill you in the first place? For taking my beer, of course!" Swil snapped, curling his lip in anger. "I just underestimated how good you are at running away. But now I'll show you how scary I am when I get serious! Bwaha!"

Swil shook his head, tossing his head tentacles about. When he stopped, Ayin could see Swil's head tress begin to bulge. Ayin blinked twice at what he witnessed; what were those blobs emanating from the back of the geezer's head? The Nautolan's tentacles peeled at the tips, and out of them a repulsive mass of flesh squeezed out of them. Green and blue skin soon shaped into a miniature figure of Swil himself, a half-sized version of an already half-sized warrior broke off from Swil and turned to grin at Ayin with eyes greedy for blood.

Ayin's response was not one of surprise; it was one of revulsion. He shivered instinctively, taking his hand out of his pocket at last to hold his stomach, as if to keep his lunch from spilling out through his ribs.

"Oh, now THAT is just plain disgusting. I've heard of tentacle rape before, but procreating out of your head asexually is beyond disturbing."

As Ayin fought to suppress his gag reflex, Swil pointed at him. "Nobody makes fun of my mini-mes! As if stealing my precious beer wasn't worthy of death on its own!" Turning to his clone, Swil said, "Now carve up his innards so he won't have to hold them in any longer!"

The clone responded with a short, vile cackle, extending its hand towards Swil's utility belt. A smaller cylinder handle than Swil's own lightsaber disconnected from the belt and glided through the air, igniting the short blade as soon as the clone grasped the handle. With sudden acceleration, the clone lurched at Ayin and swiped at his unprotected left side. Ayin grit his teeth, annoyed that he would be sacrificing his chance for a finishing blow, and released Swil's lightsaber handle to leap away. The clone's lightsaber passed just underneath his back, as Ayin backflipped away. Ayin wondered why Swil had not struck with his lightsaber in tandem with his clone; wouldn't that be his best move?

When Ayin landed in a kneeling position, he saw Swil's clone standing adjacent to its creator. Swil's lightsaber hovering in the air, while Swil extended both of his hands towards Ayin. He felt the hand he used to stabilize himself tremble, then the rest of him.

What is this? It's like the whole platform is...

A loud cracking sound penetrated Ayin's ears. He looked down to see the platform pocketing with fissures, as if it was collapsing upon itself. Ayin realized that Swil was using a massive Force Crush to shatter the platform beneath his feet. He got to his feet and sprinted away from the fissures, but the cracks followed him everywhere he went; permacrete shrapnel burst into the air all around him as the flooring structure shattered. Ayin kept good distance between himself and Swil's crushing power, as it was not too hard to outrun, as long as he had ground to run on.

Suddenly, he found his legs churning in mid-air.

"Oh, sh-"

Ayin felt himself under the influence of gravity as the entire starfighter platform collapsed at once, except for Swil's starfighter, himself, and his precious beverages. Ayin reached out with the Force and pulled himself towards the jagged edge of the platform, which had broken off completely just several feet in front of him. As he was already turning up-side down during his fall, Ayin's feet touched down on the side of the broken platform. Ayin watched as the broken chunks of the platform dropped down towards the endless chasm between Coruscant's structures; the streams of speeder traffic lurched to the side to avoid the massive platform to avoid being instantly crushed from its weight and speed. Ayin made a point to take in an extra deep breath to assure himself he was still intact.

"Well, that was spiffy," he said. "I'd like to see that again, although preferably not when being used to kill me."

Swil allowed all of his teeth to show. "Oh, you'll be seeing it again soon enough, pathetic Jedi. You may as well surrender -- I'll make your death much more swift if you do, although it will be just as painful."

Ayin did not reply at first, and instead walked up against the strain of gravity and stepped over the ledge, onto the horizontal part of the platform where gravity affected him normally. Ayin noted that Swil had not spared any part of the platform, with only several feet around his craft and alcohol remaining. He stooped down and lifted up one of the bottles.

"I believe it is you who should consider surrendering," Ayin said. "One false move, and your beer goes bye-bye." To make his point, Ayin put the toe of his boot up against some of the bottles. Swil clenched his jaw in fury.

"You're bluffing! You wouldn't have the guts."

Ayin popped the lid off of the beer in his hand and took a swig. "Yeah, actually, I would. They aren't mine, so I'm not emotionally attached to these particular beers. Plus, I have plenty of my own, I only took yours because I figured you didn't need them any more. The loss is entirely yours."

[Swil Kit Fisto]

Swil began to sweat. Beer the one love left in his life was held at the will of a crazy man. “What do I do? I have to try and coax him back to reality.”

“You do realize that destroying beer is one of the cardinal sins right?”

“Oh is it?” Ayin said as he gave the pile a light kick.

Swil wasn’t getting anywhere with this mans insanity. Things were really getting serious, he had to save the beer somehow but making a wrong move could cost him his most prized possessions.

Swil extended his hands in Ayin’s direction, and nodded to his clone. The clone jumped toward Ayin with great speed, pointing his lightsaber at Ayin’s heart. “It’s your beer.” Ayin responded smugly, as he nudged the pile off the remaining part of the landing platform, however it did not fall. It somehow was floating in midair. Which caused Ayin, for a moment, to forget about the incoming half-pint and nearly cost him his life.

Taking advantage of the situation, Swil’s clone followed up with a shot of force lightning, as Swil secured his beverages. Quickly reacting, Ayin crouched down to avoid the attack, which proceeded over Ayin’s head to hit Swil’s unconscious apprentice laying on the ship’s ramp. Her body flew back into the ship, which crashed through different things aboard the ship.

Swil laughed, “Nice shot mini-me, that was great!”

“Uhh… you do realize that was your apprentice right?”

“Duh, that’s why it’s funny.”

“You really don’t care about your apprentice, do you?”

“Ayin, don’t tell me you actually think your apprentice is totally cool.”

“Ehh… you got a point there. Well this was fun and all but…” Ayin grabbed Swil’s clone by the face and held him in the air, with his saber at his throat, “I have things to do, like hit on girls and steal more beer. So it’s your choice, lose a disgusting midget copy of yourself, or surrender.”

“N-n-n-n-n-n-n-no, don’t kill my mini-me! I yield, you win.”

“Good.” Ayin threw the clone back to Swil. Swil placed his hand onto the clone’s forehead, and closed his eyes. Suddenly the clone vanished and Swil, picked up the tiny saber and put it back into his cloak.

”Another beer, Ayin?”

“How could I resist.”

Swil reached out with the force and passed a cold one on over to Ayin. “Aww, what is that smell?” Swil turned to the hallway leading into the Temple to see the same young puke-stained Jedi, that Swil nearly killed earlier.

“Duuuude, it feels like I’m dying inside.”

“Shut up!” Ayin and Swil said in unison.

“Wasn’t there a landing platform here earlier?” The Jedi asked, stumbling about, and vomiting over the edge. "Ooo beer!" The Jedi rose to grab himself a beer. Swil watched out of disbelief as the young foolish jedi popped one open and took a swig or two before commenting, "Whoa duuuuuudes I'm soooooo drunk. I feel soooooo cold."

Ayin, who was slightly drunk, laughed and said, "You stupid moron! Alcohol doesn't make you cold, it actually makes you feel warm."

"Oh right dude... Aww dude, i think i may be coming down with a heatstroke!"

"Ok thats it," Swil responded "You're gonna die you annoying little Jedi scum." Swil reached his hands out and lifted the young jedi with the force. The jedi's body started compressing and he burst out began screaming in pain.

"Dude I have a really high pain tolerance so this doesn't hurt very much."

"You're really dying inside imbecile." Swil then closed his hands and brought them together and the jedi's body burst into a cloud of green ooze. Swil put his arms by his side with a disgusted look on his face as the flesh, bone and green ooze fell into the Coruscant depths. "Sick if I knew he would have done that I would have simply kicked his ass off as he was puking. Well now I really need a drink"

Ayin and Swil once again enjoyed their beverages.

[Ayin Tsade]

Ayin sighed with satisfaction as he came up for air, after having drained yet another mug-full of alcohol. He tossed the can off the platform and watched it drift downwards, ricochet off the outside of the Jedi Temple, and continue to plummet downwards, following the trail of ooze from the idiot Jedi whose remains had just fallen off. If Ayin had predicted the Jedi would be so stupid, he would have acted to save him. But his eyes had been closed at the moment, as he had been busy drying his can of beer; by the time Ayin opened his eyes, it had been too late.

Instead of feeling bummed, however, Ayin shrugged and popped open another canister and brought it to his lips.

"Ahhh... you know, if you'd been willing to share your stash to begin with, we could have avoided that little scuffle altogether," Ayin commented to the Nautolan, as he came up for air again. He planted the canister beside him and laid back. After all of these beers, Ayin's vision began to blur objects together: Swil's tentacles began to look like vines protruding from a scaly vase, with nasty bug-eyes popping out of the sides.

"Yeah, well I get touchy when people mess with my most precious materials," Swil replied. "You think this stuff comes cheap? What were you thinking, threatening to destroy my collection?"

Ayin grinned, shutting his eyes. "Quite simple. I knew that you would send your clone after me sooner or later, so I used your beer as bait to tempt you to act on instinct. By pretending to have my guard down, I successfully disarmed you of your even punier minion... which, by the way, that's a really cool and disgusting power you have."

Swil tossed another can over the edge. "Yeah, well, you move too fast. I had to crush the entire platform just to get you to stop."

Ayin laughed. Tears squeezed out of his eyes.

"What a brilliant Force Crush that was, too. I wish I could have seen my own face when I realized that the platform was gone, ha!"

"Heh, compliment received. You're a powerful fighter yourself. I still can't believe I just met a Jedi who is more than just talk, what with their stupid, 'Let the Force surround you,' and 'Non-violence' speeches."

"Don't ever compare me to them," Ayin said. He groped around blindly for the beer can he had started on earlier, padding the ground with his palm. "I'm a Jedi, but I do things my own way. The only reason I've put up with the Order is because it needs changing. No more of these Old Republic era rules that are part of an obsolete Jedi Code, or never were part of it to begin with. When I get the chance, I'm going to rewrite the sucker myself."

[Still editing]

[Swil Kit Fisto]

Swil was sitting on the edge sipping on his beer, “That is exactly why I left the order. It needs to change. You think I learned that ‘force crush’ from my Jedi Training? No way it was the Sith that taught me that. The only thing the Jedi did for me was teaching me to focus on using the force in a more efficient way. I mean I would have waited around to try and change the order, but they were going to banish me from the order anyway, and that’s why I left.”

“Heh, yea I guess I would have done the same, the only reason they haven’t banished me yet is ‘cause I’m their best teacher, when I’m not drunk that is… speaking of which where the heck did I put that beer?”

“Umm… it’s still in your hand.”

“Oh, good call.” Ayin replied with a slight slur, as he finished off the last bit of beer. “So what are you going to do now?”

“Well, after I finish my beer I think I’m going off to get some more precious materials, I’m kind of running low.”

”What are you talking about? I could barely carry it out all at once.”

“Yea that’s the problem. But, after that I’m going to Yavin to see what I’m going to do about the Sith problem, since the Jedi are just gonna sit on their hands and talk about the weather.”

Swil heard a female moan from inside the ship. It was his apprentice who was in quite a bit of pain. “Uhh… why does it feel like my head was smashed against a wall?” She continued to walk toward Swil, not noticing the lack of a platform, and fell down the gaping hole.

Swil burst out into laughter so much so that he started to cry. Ayin feeling sorry for the woman partly due to his drunken state tried to stop her with the force in her rapid decent, however this task was difficult for him. He was seeing two devaronians falling down into the coruscant depths. But without much delay he was able to rescue her from a certain doom. “Next time look before stepping, it avoids injuries and freefalling deaths.” Ayin said lifting her back up to the platform.

She thanked Ayin, and turned to see Swil crying, “It’s ok Master Swil, Ayin was able to rescue me, you can stop crying.”

“Damn.” Swil whispered to himself as he wiped his tears of laughter away. “Go check on Hannibal make sure he’s alright and clean up the mess you made. Now, Ayin, I would like to join your effort to stop the Sith. Will you accompany me to Yavin?”

“Well if you want to accomplish something you should try and take back Bespin, it’s full of robots, powerful robots, so be careful. Once you take that you can sell it back to the republic. They’d definitely do that because they won’t lose a single troop.”

Hannibal walked outside the ship to hear Swil, “Ooo good idea, I could sell Bespin back to the republic for a good price too, and get quite a bit of money too.”

“What in the heck would we do with all that money?” Hannibal remarked.

“Uh… Beer… Duh. Good, so it’s settled, Hannibal and I will go to Bespin retake it for the republic, and sell it back to them.”

“What about your apprentice?” Ayin resonded.

“Uh… who?”

“Anselm, I believe, that devaronian you like to torment.”

“Oh right, Damn she’s still here? Well I guess she could be of some use in the battle. Well, we will be off now. I’ll contact you once I have taken the planet.”

The three packed the alcohol up onto The No Longer Paralyzed Rancor, and set course for Bespin.